Tuesday 11 August 2015

Learning on a bicycle made for two.

22 years ago, within the first year of marriage, we hired a tandem and cycled round Jersey. The highlight was the waitresses waving us off following a scrumptious cream tea with a great rendition of "Daisy, Daisy". We have laughed about it many times since, but I also recall many moments of terror and panic when I felt I had no control. Yes, in stereotypical gender style, I was on the back, with no brakes, no gears and no way of being in charge of the speed we did downhill. I was fearful... he was a daredevil.




Unsurprisingly, Mr H was a little surprised when I suggested we try using a tandem again, with a view to buying one through his cycle to work scheme. With knee injuries from running, he is now a keen cyclist and already has a rather advanced racing bike that he uses regularly. After a slow half marathon last year, I have also been prone to injury, and now need to avoid high impact exercise such as jogging and running. We are also in a phase of life where our children are now young adults, and we have the freedom to try out new things and and gain new perspectives...




So, we have been borrowing a tandem for 2 weekends now. As we live on a hill, setting off (downhill of course) on our first ride was terrifying. I had to trust him entirely regarding the moment of set off, speed of pedalling, gear resistance, speed round bends and, of course, stopping. Contrary to popular belief, there is no free wheeling on the back, when you are the 'stoker' (I'm getting into cycle lingo already). You have to match the pace (and 'cadence') of the person in front. But the person in front has to listen, take your questions and concerns seriously and communicate their intentions. 'We are turning left at the next junction', 'Power up', 'Get ready to stop' etc. etc.

The young adults mentioned earlier were fearful of what might happen and fully expected ructions on our return home. Wrong. We came home laughing and smiling and after a 20 mile trip, keen to do a longer ride next time. The 2nd trip took place on Saturday, a perfect day, and we did 40 miles including a stop off in the beautiful small city of Wells. This journey included a number of hills. On a tandem, you can't stand up, so you go uphill ridiculously slowly in a very low gear - serious teamwork and effort required to make it to the top, then the momentum back down the other side is phenomenal. I will admit, it was a little fast for my liking, but I felt so much more confident and joyful compared to 22 years ago. It was fun.



I have learnt a lot from trying something out again, something that I had really thought the first time was going to be a one off. How even in an established relationship with very well worn roles, likes and dislikes, it is great to open up your mind, relinquish some of the control you are used to having, and put your trust in a partner. In this case, Mr H as a very experienced road cyclist, is much better equipped to lead than me and also compared to how he was 22 years ago. How, despite the day to day use of shorthand communication common in a lot of relationships, (that can sometimes be 'short' as well) doing something that requires you to work in tandem (couldn't resist) necessitates patient, clear and kind communication. I think there are many comparisons, like these, to make regarding lots of joint activities and endeavours at work and in life generally.

The last, and definitely not least one of these I want to mention here is seeing familiar things through a new lens and at a different pace. We are lucky to live in a gorgeous county, usually seen from a car window, or in Mr H's case from a road bike at speed. The pace of the tandem, close proximity to your partner, no music and no wifi makes conversation easy. This enabled us to notice, appreciate and marvel at a truly wonderful rural sunny day.



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